That moment when or I smile a lot.....

I smile a lot. I smile at everyone. I smile because it may be the only happy point a person has in their day. I smile so that for that one moment. For that one moment I want the other person feel a tiny bit of happiness. It doesn't take much, 2 seconds. Who knows what their day or life is like at the moment? So I smile.

It takes a lot to make me not smile at you. I used to tell everyone that it was important to always stay positive and rarely did I let my negative side out. I really didn't have a negative side. Was this healthy? Who knows? Who cares. I convinced myself that I was happy, so therefore I was. I read a lot. Texted my friends a lot. And I was content. I had a friend once in a conversation we had say that looking for the good and believing in people was fine as long as you didn't mind always being disappointed. My reply was that you put out what you get. But lately I've been thinking that his version was more correct than mine.

I have these walls. I know that they're there. I built them, so how could I not know? It takes a lot to breach them, so if I let you, then you're lucky. But this is on a friend standpoint I don't even want to try an psycho analyze myself from a dating standpoint, because yeah.... we'll leave it at that. So anyway I think I set myself up. I'm too nice. When I say that I don't mean I let people take advantage of me, but I mean that when it comes to my friends I have a very soft heart. If they are in need and I'm able to give. I do. Simple as that. No questions. You need it? I give if I'm able. I don't do this for gratification or even thanks, I expect neither. I do it because I care and if I have the ability to lessen your burden for a bit, then I do. But like I said I set myself up. Call me a drama queen, because fuck me if the advise from before wasn't right. I don't like feeling disappointed when someone takes me for granted or ignores me to simply assume that I'll be there when they finally decide they have the time for me. I friendly hello even days to weeks apart lets me know that I'm important to you and that our friendship is important. Needy? Maybe. But I don't care. When you blow me off for whatever reason, it hurts. Then I get sad. Then I think being nice sucks. Then I think dammit I'm an fn moron, why do I put myself out there? 

Now I have friends where that's just how our relationships work. There are a few where I don't hear from for months, but I know that's how our friendship is, so I don't mind. I'm secure in the fact that I could pick up the phone or text and say "I need to talk" and they would call me no questions asked and simply be there.

So I guess the point is yes I smile a lot. But that no longer means I'm happy. It just means I want you to think that I am. I hide a lot. I cry a lot. I think a lot. I get lonely a lot. And sometimes..... just sometimes I think I was better off just hiding in my whole little world I created for myself. Reading book after book doesn't make me weak or unable to face reality, it simply means that with all I see, all I hear, all the problems I face and watch my friends face, it's easier to say fuck this and lose myself in somewhere a happily ever after is guaranteed. (but it's a double edged sword, and I'll get to that in another post.)

Or I want to run smack dab to the opposite and be a raging bitch. It's not like I don't know how to be one. I'm a very good one. But the thing about being a bitch is, at the end of the day, even with the friends you have, you feel crappy. It's hard living life with an attitude, because it's easy to take it to the extreme and simply push people away. Then I think ....isn't that what I want? So maybe I am a little bitchier than I used to be, but when people beat the nice out of you, some times it's the only thing left to give. You save the loving part...the sweet part....the nice part to give to those who already know you.

Maybe it's just me being a drama queen, but right now my feelings are hurt and I could give a flying fig less. BUT tomorrow I'll wake up and smile a lot......

Because on the inside, rattling around in my head will be that moment when you realize that you care about the other person's feelings, life and friendship but that person could give a fuck less.

Just a quick...

I"m gonna post post tomorrow... about the Saesang fan controversy and my thoughts on why I can't believe that people are justifying violence against ANYONE.

It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to.... C25K

So I decided to get back on the horse of pain (which should be one of the men of the Apocalypse in my opinion) and get my bum back to the gym. I used to go faithfully every weekday. But things happen in life and sometimes the things that were important seem less so even if they should be. That being said, I pushed my limits first and second day back and jogged/walked/climbed 4 miles and did weights of course. But then I decided I needed a plan. (yeah I'm a planner - list maker.... well most of the time LOL)

So my plan is the C25K. If you haven't heard of this, it's a 9 week plan to take you from the couch to 5K (3 miles) running plan. I started today and let me just say...

I did it, but OMG what was I thinking? hahahha it's easy but hard and towards the last 10 minutes I just was counting down to the cool down.... AHHHHHH but I'm going to be dedicated. And I'm still lifting weights. 12 weeks that's what it takes for others to see your results. and 3 weeks for anything to become a habit. So all I have to say is BRING. IT. ON.

*WARNING WARNING* Crazy fan alert *WARNING WARNING*

While I can't say that I approve or even appreciate what Block B did in their interview for the Thai program (and I'm Thai) posting a petition for suicide of the members is

MOTHER CRACKIN CRAZY... ARE YOU FN STUPID OR JUST THAT DESPERATE?!


It's just like the insane defense of Yoochun for slapping the crazy fangirl. Seriously defend your fandom, but sound SANE and reasonable when you do so. Making up lame excuses and things that don't make a bit of sense or even sound remotely close to the truth is just DUMB. and makes you sound bat shit crazy. Get a grip. SERIOUSLY.

As for the Yoochun thing. It's ok to say that idols are human, make mistakes and do the wrong thing. HE SLAPPED HER. He did NOT:
1. stroke her hair
2. pat her on the head
3. it was not his guard
4. high five her
5. give her a hug
Be pissed if you want, but do so in a sane way. I read those and just started laughing. Get real.

Block B. Yes it was insensitive. Yes they should have been coached for their interview. Yes their manager should have stepped in. Yes their actions were a tad out of line. Yes they should be chastised *(which they were by 2pm) and made to apologize (which they did). Was the $6 comment crazy stupid? HELL YES! Do I think that people are blowing their inexperience and lack of direction out of portion? HELL YES! Back off for gah's sake! They hospitalized the youngest member.... Are you crazy fans happy now? Get a teddy bear cuz obviously you need a hug if you are happy about it. While you're at it take a Valium and calm the F down.

/END RANT > for now

Something Random .... About me

If you know me really well, you already know this... For all others well now you will.

I LOVE old movies. Movies from the 1930's and the 1940's (early 50's) were my choice of movies while growing up. I add to my current collection all the time. People look at me strange and think that I'm completely off my rocker, but seriously I love them.

I know that they can be cheesey lines, questionable acting and easy to decipher plots, but that's not the reason I adore them so. I love the old Hollywood glamour of them. The sets, the makeup, the hair, the costumes and most of the time the stories themselves. There's something to be said about the simplicity of it all. Women were women and men were men. Though you can see racial stereotyping in almost all the movies, if you look back on the generation they were made in, hopefully you can see past that and enjoy it for what it is. So anyway here are a few of my favorites....

Till the Clouds Roll By (Semi autobiographical of Jerome Kern)- HUGE musical cast from Lena Horne to Judy Garland to old blue eyes. It's the story of the composer who created some of the most loved musicals of then and now, like Showboat, Fred and Ginger movies and on and on....Look him up he was amazing. (Sadly he passed away before the completion of his tribute.)


The Spanish Main (and The Black Swan) or Anything pirates with Maureen O'hara in it. She's one of my favorite red heads. I love her more than Rita Hayworth. She wasn't overly sexualized, but simply beautiful and classy. She acted in several movies even decades after old Hollywood glamour faded away.


Saving the best for last of course. I've watched every movie that they were ever in, and a few where they weren't together. FRED AND GINGER. How I simply adore them. (Trivia: Ginger Rogers won an Academy award for her portrayal of Kitty Foyle. A must see movie, she was glorious. I remember the whole story line to this day.) All in all they performed in 10 films together (9 RKO -one in technicolor and 1 with MGM- their last film), all of them magic. This has to be one of my faves (as with most fans) Swing Time. I love the duet of "A Fine Romance." (Trivia: composer was Jerome Kern) But for this post I will show off their dancing shoes.
SWING TIME-

CAREFREE


When asked about the films Ginger stated "try doing everything he does backwards and in heels..." hahahaha

Anyway if you're looking for something with old Hollywood glam or simply something that's different from the movies of the modern age, try some of these. They're lighthearted and take you back to a time where everything was simpler. Sometimes all we need is something that will make us smile.
Other recommendations:
Harvey Girls - Judy Garland
A Star is Born - Judy Garland
Tammy and the Bachelor - Debbie Reynolds
Robin Hood - Tyrone Powell
Penny Serenade - Cary Grant
Easter Parade - Judy Garland/Fred Astaire
Meet Me in St. Louis -Judy Garland
State Fair
An Affair to Remember
The Last Time I saw Paris - Elizabeth Taylor
Rebecca - Laurence Olivier
and more.....

So I'll leave you with a scene from one of my favorite movies. Judy Garland actually changed on of the lines in the song as she found it too depressing and magic.... it became one of the most loved Christmas songs ever.... ENJOY

Meet Me in St. Louis (How can you not love Tootie (Margret O'Brien)? The original goth girl always killing off her dolls with a fatal disease. And Judy Garland just emits gentleness in this scene on Christmas Eve. They know they are moving soon, leaving all they know behind and she is trying to comfort Tootie.)

My Opinion on Kids React to K-pop (vid by FineBros)

EDIT 1/9/12: The video has been taken down according to The Fine Bros because of copyright. They are working to resolve the issue and re-upload it. (I knew this was coming as it contained content from 2 of the big 3 companies YG and SM. As a side note the last time I checked last night the likes were 13000+ and the dislikes about 6000+.) If and when the video is re-uploaded I will re-upload it as well.(see below as it has been reposted) For now I will just post the vid of the bloopers which will still raise a few eyebrows.
REPOSTED 1/15/12-


On a more personal note I would like to say this. After reading the article on AllKpop HERE it seems like there only two sides of the fence -- you think it's cute or you're overreacting by being offended. You can tell that some people may be holding back some thoughts, erring on the side of caution. What I will add is that if you are offended by a part or the whole thing THAT'S OK. If you think the video is adorable THAT'S OK. But DON'T put down someone for the way they feel about the video itself. Respect that fact that we all don't have to agree and we're allowed our own opinions no matter what they are. STOP telling people that they are wrong or right simply because their view differs from you. Don't invoke Crazy Fan Girl Rule #1.
*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>
Ok I've been debating on whether or not to comment on this video, and I'm going to. Know that this is my own opinion and if you would like to have an intelligent conversation about it, you can leave a comment or tweet me. I'm more than willing to debate or talk about this, as it's an interesting topic.

First off the nasty comments by people saying that they want to hurt these children says more about you than it does about them and their statements. Keep in mind their age and probably exposure to different cultures. Most of all that they are KIDS.

With that said let me just state some things. Fist in the video there is a total of 11 kids and out of all of them the 3 are minorities. (I only add this because if they maybe had some Asian kids and/or more variety would the reactions have been puesdo cuteness that they were shooting for? If they had known who the groups were and/or liked them, would they still would have put that interview up with the rest?)One of them does say Wondergirls, so you know that she has had some exposure. The thing that bothered me the most were not the statements that were true, but rather the attitude of the kids. In some places yes they were cute/funny, but in others I would have been very upset if I would have heard them say the same things in public. What I noticed was that the kids who were 11-13 in age were the ones that were the most closed minded and felt free to make snarky comments. Now MOST of this can be blamed on the age, but it was the nature of the comments that some may have found cute, that I found offensive. It wasn't the dislike of the music that bothered me, but rather the range of comments that stemmed from the way the people looked to them speaking another language that came in between. Making fun of everything from clothing to looks to the language barrier. It seemed almost closed off and intolerant even for such a young age.

One would have to be the giggle/laugh when the girl is like "what are they saying?". And the other when the kids were like "They all look the same." There other comments here and there that actually made me a tad irritated. While like I said some people may say "well they are just kids, what do you expect?" I'm a firm believer that kids echo what their parents say/think. It seems like they haven't had an exposure to anything to different. If they feel free to say this now, what are they like in real life in the same situation? Are they giggling because someone is speaking Korean, Italian or any other language that isn't English? I personally don't find it funny or cute in any sense. If they can't respect other cultures, no matter which one, what are they learning really? Now I am not saying this is who they will be in 2,5, 10 + years, but all I can think of is what if it's another kid?

I grew up in an environment like that. (Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed with it.) In my HS there was only two Asian students (maybe three) and I dealt with not fitting in anywhere. Kids went around saying things like "Me love you long time" with no thought on how that made me feel or what it was really implying (to this day if I hear you say it, it will be fighting words and I won't let you get away with it). No matter what the age, people should respect each other and some things aren't ok to say. I don't know what else to say and may add more later. In the videos defense there were only TWO or THREE kids that showed this tendency and not all of them.

Now for all the Blackjacks spinning out of control because they compared to 2NE1 to Lady Gaga. Yes as we know they aren't, but in reality they are going to be compared. ( Gaga's hit 'Just Dance' really became a big hit about January 2009 and 2NE1 debut in May of 2009) While 2NE1's look didn't resemble Gaga at first, you can say in some of the videos it can be close to the old look of Gaga's. (And it was just one snarky kid that made the comparison) The reality is that they will be compared if they dress that way for the U.S. debut unfortunately, it's inevitable. Gaga staked a claim here in the U.S. first and her fans are just as loyal as 2NE1s. So this is a moot point, even if it does make you mad, there's no reason for it to. YOU know the truth, I know the truth, all Blackjacks know the truth, so just let it go.

There were other comments made that Suju was like any other boy band from the 90's.Do I agree with this? Ummmm NO. But again look at their age, they were probably born or conceived when N'Sync and Backstreet were big here in the U.S. So really where are they getting their reference. Am I offended? Not really, they are just uniformed and again echoing their parents I'm sure. Now for them to say they are like Big Time Rush, well really how could they know that that BTR was probably thought up because of the Backstreet Boys, N'sync and groups like Super Junior? But in reality we know that they were probably modeled after them due the popularity of all the groups. (Again its a age gap thing. If you said many people compare 2NE1 to Destiny's Child, no one goes up in arms simply because the group was very popular at it's time.) So you can take this as a compliment or simply blow it off as kids comparing it to what they know.

And again the one snarky girl and boy that made the offensive comments made more commenting the pictures. In all honesty it was these two that turned the whole thing sour for me. Regardless of age, it was borderline racist in it context. I know many kids that have never been exposed to Kpop and are accepting of it regardless of the fact they have no idea what they are saying. It was the Snarky boy that shouted "I HATE MY GENERATION! WHY COULDN'T I BE BORN IN THE 80s?!" when he was told that the groups were very popular world wide and here in the U.S. Really? Does he even know what the 80s was like style and music wise? Me thinks he was just shooting for the attention. Although If I was his parent I would be COMPLETELY embarrassed for his attitude and words. These two and a couple of the older girls were very judgmental because the music was simply different.

While most of the agreed they would never enter training to become an idol, I think that was an example on the differences between American and Asian cultures. It's hard to put into words, but more or less there's a reason America is number 12 and Korea is number 1. How much are you willing to sacrifice or give up to pursue your dream and try to obtain it? Would you work hard every day, dawn to dusk, simply for the chance you may be able to debut? In what I call the 'you owe us generation' instant gratification doesn't allow for this train of thought to even been considered. But again we host shows like American Idol that take no training for you to release an album and the same goes for many people who are discovered. Where as most of the 'idols' in any Asian country can say they attended schools like Harvard, Berklee College of Music and/or all eventually end up in college to further their musical/drama education.

All in all I'll say this.... I think that this video is going to raise a lot more hell than they thought it would. If anything Kpop fans can be extremely loyal and/or over the top. But remember before you react that way, ask yourself "Is this how we want to be known? Is this the introduction we wanted into the world as Kpop fans?" Keep it in check, be an adult about what you say, try to remember these are just kids and then make your comment.
**Edit 1/9/12: After talking with my best friend BittenUsagi (blog is in the side bar) this may have been edited to create a rise out of people. Editing it in a way that would get the most hits. I would have to agree with her and say it's a likely possibility. They did send out a tweet saying "Any Blackjacks out there like us?" and then the link. They did brag about both their like count and number of hits. So editing it so they knew what buttons to push? A definite possibility. I will see if I can get my two friends to write a short blog on their thoughts and post them here as a guest blog.

*On a personal level after thinking about this vid, it's not the comments they make regarding the music (all people have different tastes) but rather the comments made in between about how the people spoke and looked. While a few complimented the videos, the insults kinda just flew when commenting on anything else. At the end of the day we, as Kpop fans, know how hard they all work, are working and will work. We know the blood, sweat, sacrifices and tears they shed and made to achieve their level of success. And in the end that's all that matters.

'Music breaks down the barrier between language that allows all of us to communicate and feel the same thing' - CL 2NE1

Voyeurism into the Kpop fandom Part 2 B - Crazy Fangirls....not to be left out Fanboys can be too

So I realized along with my crazy fangirls post I should have said fans.... So let me correct that now. Because not be outdone let's include fanboys. I won't get into great detail as I don't have a lot of experience with it (ya know cuz I'm a girl) but who doesn't remember this incident at the beginning of last year?

SNSD's Taeyeon attempted abduction while performing Angel Price Music Festival. That's right a fanboy walked right on stage and attempted to pull her off. Luckily for her Sunny was right there and paying attention. Sunny can be seen following them and then grabbing Taeyeon to stop them. And props to the MC of the event who started wrestling with him to let her go until security got there. Watch it here>>



Now I'm not here to debate if the performance should have continued or not. But I will say that it's a crazy situation. Once again it shows the lengths that certain fans will go to obtain the person of their obsession. (and here you thought I was just being mean) There's an article HERE on AllKpop about the incident.

What I find more disturbing is that SM Ent. decided NOT to press charges because he was student and very, very sorry. Article HERE.

*ok personal opinion*
So it's no wonder that SM has such a bad reputations concerning their artists. From slave contracts to kidnapping SM has practically covered all the bases. I mean really?! No pressing of charges? That sends a great message. "Hey as long as your a good student and very sorry, you can grab one of our idols off stage during a live performance it's ok. As long as we catch you and you don't hurt her/him, FREE PASS." Throw in SBS Gayo Daejun 2011 and no wonder their new motto is becoming 'EAT FOOD'. Check out this Tumblr for a good laugh.

Voyeurism into the Kpop fandom Part 2 - Crazy Fangirls

So I decided that I'll jump around simply because I can. Mostly when things I observe remind of something blog worthy. What's caught my attention lately is Fangirls. That's right that screamin, crying mass of girls and women that drool over the smexiness of idols despite age, race and culture. Everyone has heard of them and I'm not saying that I'm not one. 'Cause I am.

But this post is going to talk about the fangirls extreme thoughts that I've seen, I've started to refer to them as Crazy Fangirls. (Granted everyone is entitled to say/feel whatever they want no matter how crazy, but along those lines I'm also allowed to believe that you are bat sh*t cray cray for thinking it.) If you don’t like what I’m about to say/talk about or think you’ll be offended, stop reading now.

I'm not talking about normal "I'm your fan, I love your work, I can't believe I met you ...please sign ____ “ fangirl…. I'm talking about almost the extreme opposite. The "Here's my altar, I sent you 50,000 letters, and one day we will get married" Crazy Fangirls. I’m not saying that this is something that exists only in the Kpop fandom, because it certainly doesn't. But since that's what I have the most experience with, it's what I'm going to mostly refer to (and some Jrock fandom I've experienced/and or read about).

A good example of good fangirls gone bad (so you have something to refer to) is the ones that generally follow Justin B. Now his aren't something to F with, they will seriously put you on the side of a milk carton. Look at what they did when they found out he was dating Selena Gomez. Fortunately for him and his gf he was able to stand up and tell them to stop and mean it. By publicly stating that he didn’t approve of their actions, he put a stop to most of the shannigans. Now I’m not his fan (yeah whatever hate me if you must but I’ll never be) but I have to say that was a pretty gutsy move on his part. Basically it was a take it or leave it, this is who I’m with and I don’t need your opinion but you WILL respect her and my decision man thing to do.

Ok to the point. The thing that I notice with some fangirls that 'ship some kind of male idol simply pull everything out of context or have extremist thoughts. This happens almost exclusively when there are rumors of them dating. If such a thing happens usually the response ranges from "I'm so happy for _____" to "I'm going to string that _____ up and dump her body". I can say that they truly don't want anyone to be with them unless it's them. I don't know for certain if they believe that if they were to ever to meet them, the idol would fall irrevocably in love with them or if they truly want that person to be single forever. I’ve seen comments that ranged from “She’s not pretty enough to be with ____”, “She looks like a dog”, “what was ____ thinking?!”, “ ____ could do so much better than that!”, “She’s a whore” “She’s too fat/dumb/skinny/ugly/short/tall/whatever” or simply “I don’t believe it, ____ isn’t good enough.” My question is compared to who? You? Another celeb? And what makes you think that they need our approval? Or anyone has a right to decide on what or who makes them happy? (Sadly though they are afraid of anti’s for several reasons that I won’t get into, so they do hide relationships …. Example would be Papa YG and Se7en)

An example would be TOP from Big Bang. I like TOP. I could say I fangirl over him. But do I want him to be eternally alone??? UMMMM NO. (Would I be a little disappointed if it wasn’t Bom? Yes… lol sue me they’re one of my OTPs) I’ve read in several places where people say things like “I can’t imagine shipping him with anyone”, “he’s mine (in a serious manner)” or they will simply cuss you out for even thinking it. He has stated in an interview that took place after his movie “71 into the Fire” that he doesn’t see himself getting married until he’s in his 40’s. Someone’s comment on that “I don’t want to see him with anyone ….EVER”. (Really? So you want him to be sad and alone for the rest of his life. I’m sure he’s so glad you’re his fan. Case in point his ex-girlfriend. He even wrote a song about it, because he was feeling so guilty she was being harassed.) And oh the arguments I’ve seen because he has no age limit on love. He seems to like the noonas (older women) but say that to someone younger than him and all hell breaks loose. “He said he likes to be called oppa” (ya know cuz it happened one time on some program) “But he said he likes to date older women..” (ya know cuz of his last gf) and on and on and blah blah blah. I’m sure that his answers weren’t scripted to some degree at all or YG didn’t tell him what he could or couldn’t say. (<<< that was sarcasm)

Another couple of examples would be Se7en and GACKT. I read somewhere, I don’t honestly remember, that GACKT had simply taken a picture with a girl at an airport gate and people assumed she was his girlfriend. It started a shark feeding frenzy. People started to threaten her life, pranked her all time, all kinds of stuff. It was so bad, GACKT had to go on record to state what happened and clarify. OVER A PICTURE and RUMOR PEOPLE! I guess the girl had it so bad that she changed her number and moved. (Personally I believe this is one of the reasons he either flat out refuses or shy's away from taking pictures with fans in random settings.) Se7en’s is fairly simple he announced he had been dating the same girl for 9 years and lost 70,000 fans in one day. (I’m assuming from his fan group memberships.)

On a personal level I have a friend who’s been very fortunate to meet several Kpop idols. She’s a doll and completely funny. But when she posted these online after meeting them, she basically eluded that many people were calling her names and basically being mean to her. And for what reason? Simply because she was lucky enough to meet them, interact with them and get her picture with them. Yeah that’s a good reason to be a jerk. (Now I can’t say all fangirls are like this. When I met several Jrock artists and posted pictures and told my stories to go with it, fangirls were nothing but nice. They were excited as I was and had nothing but nice things to say to me.)

But I have also heard some disturbing stories about how far these cray cray fangirls will go. I can’t even discuss them because they are so far out there. It is something that is disgusting and simply insane. So this brings us to ---

CRAZY FANGIRL RULE #2: IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU, NO ONE CAN. You will be lonely and sad for as long as I say and unless I approve.

And if you don’t agree with this please refer to CRAZY FANGIRL RULE #1 HERE.

Keep Calm and don’t be a Crazy Fangirl …. That is all.

*I have dediced to omit my opinions on this matter for a later post. I will decided whether or not to put it up as part B on a later date. It’s all typed up, but solely my opinion on this phenomenon. So maybe later.*

Voyeurism into the Kpop fandom or The Soap Opera known as the Kpop Fandom Part 1

{I have decided to split this up into parts as it covers several years and experiences. Read on dear reader, read on.}
So gentle reader I shall endeavor to tell you what I know/have experienced/observed in the the entity known as the Kpop Fandom. First I'll talk about the different names for the fandoms and move on to some personal experience.

Kpop is that wonderful sound given to us from Korea that makes us laugh, cry, dance, scream, shout and enjoy. The music can range from individuals, individuals solo(ing) from groups and groups....large groups.

First thing that you should know that almost all the fandoms have names. Here are some examples (link will be provided to credit the site I found them and the explanation behind the names)
2NE1 - Blackjacks*
Big Bang - VIPs*
SNSD (So Nyeo Shi Dae) Aka Girl's Generation - S♥NE or SONE **
Rain - Clouds*
Se7en - Lucky Seven*
SS501 - Triple S**
Wonder Girls - Wonderfuls
Super Junior - ELFs (Everlasting Friends)**
DBSK/TVXQ (Dong Bang Shin Ki) - Cassiopeia aka Cassies

There are a ton more...one for EVERY group, but you can find them HERE and how they got their name. Also an FYI every group has a dedicated COLOR as well. Those are listed there as well.
(* denotes what fandom I am a part of and ** denotes I like some of their music, but am not a part of their fandom.)

First let me just stress that this is my own experiences I've had Kpop fandom and is only my experiences on the good, the bad, the ugly, the scary, the torch carrying, the loving, the adorable, the helpful and more of the Kpop fandom and their groups. Keep that in mind as I write this. I don't want to end up on the side of a milk carton. Just kidding... no seriously I don't want to. Some of the fans be CRAY CRAY to the CRAZY, but I'm jumping ahead of myself.

Let's start at the very beginning about oh.... 3 years ago when I really got into the Kpop scene. I blame Full House. Once I saw how adorable Bi Rain was I thought "Wow and he sings and dances? Sign me up!" I don't quite remember how I found a support group for my new obsession, but I did and soon became a U.S. Cloud. ( I believe it was through soompi, but after a bad Joogbo experience I have never been back so who knows.) The thing is when you like someting that was out of the box back then like Kpop, really there was no one to talk to. I loved my Cloud family as we would set up chat parties and fangirl over Bi. We'd vote so he would make the top 100 and all squee as he made a guest appearance on the Colbert Report.

I never really had a bad experience with Clouds. I still talk to several today. I can't say that I'm a huge fan of Bi like I used to be, but I'm not an anti either. I love his work when he was with JYP, but when he branched out, I don't know it just felt like he lost something. But that's just me. Hey I own Ninja Assassin and Full House, I'm still a Cloud more or less.

The only bad experience I had (that should have been my FIRST clue of how vicious some fans could get) was when there was a chat going on. The Wonder Girls had just released "Tell Me". I had no idea who that was, what song that was, or anything so when someone said to watch it in the chat, well I did. I like it. It was ok. But it was a little bubblegum pop for my taste, but I never hated it or anything.
This the way the convo went (yes it scarred me that bad I remember it almost 2 or 3 years later)
HER: Have you seen the Wonder Girls new song Tell Me? OMG it's great.
{lots of spatter in between some saying yes other no}
HER: OMG here's the link...hfdsahfdaljhfa Go watch it!
Me and others: ok
Others: Wow it's really good! I like it's so catchy. (See they knew better.)
Me: It was good.
Her: I almost have the whole dance memorized.
Others: yeah me too! blah blah blah
Me: The dance looks fun... great cardio workout lol
{I'm sure somewhere after my comment horns sprung from fans heads and my name was added to the "she who must be torched" list.}
Her: What?! ARE YOU DUMB?! What are you trying to say!! IT'S THE WONDER GIRLS!!!
Me: The dance just looks like a good work out is all. {All cyber eyes on me. I had broken crazy fan girl rule 1)
Her: Whatever....
{Ignored until I logged out feeling sad and confused all at once.}

But SHAME on you for ever having your own opinion and not being a blind follower.

This brings us to Crazy Fangirl RULE 1 : NEVER DISAGREE or Have an opinion that is different than theirs.

The thing about the Kpop fandom is once you've been brought into that excitment, you just want to find out more and more and more. And that gentle readers is where I'll leave off for now... I will post more tomorrow...It's gonna be a post series. Don't put me on a milk carton!!

2011 Mnet Asian Music Awards

Time for the MAMAs I'm watching! Are you??


we were robbed and that's all I'll say.

If you don't know Vampy....YOU SHOULD (and a contest)

(Photo courtesy of The One Gaming Nation article HERE )

If you love cosplay then you should know Linda Le aka Vampy bit me. She's an awesome cosplayer that makes the circuit to cons all over. Besides her bright personality, she's very honest about her otaku status and her love of all things anime/manga. While her costumes are some of the best I've ever seen, she also is a kind hearted person who loves to connect with her fans. If you haven't seen any of her cosplays... well I can solve that here's some of her links.

Tumblr
Website
Facebook
Twitter

Make sure to check her out!
Now I'm sure some of you are like... Hey! Wait! You said contest!! - Why yes yes I did. So here's the deal ... Follow this LINK (only a short time left) follow the instructions and you could win your very own Pedobear hat! (Hosted by VampyBitMe and Catch Kuma on Facebook.) It's as simple as a blog or a picture! Seriously what are you waiting on? GO GO GO! ^_^ Good LUCK to you all!! GANBARE!!

XOXOXO
- OnyxHikari

NaNu NaNu??? Nooo it's NaNoWriMo

That's right all it's NaNoWriMo!! (In case you don't know what that means is National Novel Writing Month.) The basically what that means is that people set a personal goal to write a story and try to accomplish it, or at least their goal, in November. There are a ton of participants. So if you're a writer, why not try? HERE is the website. It offers support and encouraging emails from the staff. You can hook up with other writers and read excerpts that they post. ^_^ It's a ton of fun, even if you don't complete it. *cough me cough* But its a great time to get going on something that may have been wanting to put on paper. Can't hurt to try right? You don't know unless you do. Carpe Diem!!

Sadly this year due to my school schedule I won't be able to participate. But I am on the site so if you want to add me, feel free. I'm a great cheerleader. ^_^

So to all my friends and participating writers - May your muse stay fresh, your ideas flow, and your words come easily...

GOOD LUCK to you all...Though I know you won't need it :D

Long time no blog.....

Long time no blog. What can I say other that 1. I'm busy and 2. I'm busy. I've been slacking on my posting to my book review blog as well for here and for my vamp fiction, which I am trying to remedy. On the plus side I started two new fanfics and posted one up and updated an existing one. So that's productive right?

And school ....well the first class was quite enjoyable surprisingly, the second not so much. It could have to do with that the teacher used to work for me and quit. I'm seriously thinking it's why he mentioned he worked there on the first day of class. This my dear readers (if I have any) may prove to be a BIG, HUGE problem. I'll know when my first grade comes out I'm sure. Hahahaha Keep your fingers crossed.

Also if you happen across myvampfiction.com we're having an annual food drive. Last year the prize was a signed book by J.R.Ward. Make sure to keep checking back for this year's prizes. We're working on them :)

xoxoxo

Fast NDK update - 2011

Just a quick update, I'm on day two and a failyos at updating as well as getting pictures and videos. But hey at least I'm having fun right? LOL there are a lot of cool cosplays here but it's hard to get them all due to the crush that's always here. So just take my word for it. :) Anyway here's a few pics of me...I'll do the other people as well. I hope all are well.

Warrior - In theaters SEPT. 9th

Go and see Fernando Chien in the movie Warrior out Sept. 9th. He plays Fenroy and is doing the DVD commentary for Warrior as well. I wish him the best of luck and of course me and my troop are going to see it. YOU SHOULD TOO! Make sure to go and 'LIKE' his Facebook page too. He's an awesome guy!

Fernando's Facebook

Vote for Warrior on IMDB

Two brothers face the fight of a lifetime - and the wreckage of their broken family - within the brutal, high-stakes world of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighting in Lionsgate's action/drama, WARRIOR. An ex-Marine haunted by a tragic past, Tommy Riordan returns to his hometown of Pittsburgh and enlists his father, a recovered alcoholic and his former coach, to train him for an MMA tournament awarding the biggest purse in the history of the sport. As Tommy blazes a violent path towards the title prize, his brother, Brendan, a former MMA fighter unable to make ends meet as a public school teacher, returns to the amateur ring to provide for his family. Even though years have passed, recriminations and past betrayals keep Brendan bitterly estranged from both Tommy and his father. But when Brendan's unlikely rise as an underdog sets him on a collision course with Tommy, the two brothers must finally confront the forces that tore them apart, all the while waging the most intense, winner-takes-all battle of their lives

This is how I feel .... Well sorta

So the time is upon me again to go back to school this time for my Bachelor's Degree. Could be worse I could be my bestie going after her P.H.D. She's so BAMF. But anyway, this means no reading time (well hardly) as they are all accelerated classes. Which mean they are only 5 weeks long a piece. So SMOOSHED.

Any way this video is dedicated to all people who are having back to school blues.... Hopefully this will make you SMILE (^_^) XOXOXXO LOVE TO YOU ALL ♥

Words of Wisdom from Luna Lovegood...

Vacationing in Mesquite, NV

So only been here for a few days and the first things I noticed is that it's just as bright as I remember. ^ ^ About a year and I'll be moving here or in to St. George.


DRIVING THROUGH UTAH


WHERE I'M STAYING - I LOVE THE INSIDE OF THIS HOUSE

MY NEIGHBOR

Soak up the Sun....well not really...but kinda

Gettting ready to go Vegas or rather Mesquite... ^ ^ Wooohoooo I can't wait!

Life...

Life's so YAY but with a stress factor...SIGH. But oh well. It comes from me finishing my last summer class I opted to take as well as switching schools. I will be moving on from NJC with my Associates in Liberal Arts to Colorado Christian University to complete my Bachelors in Human Resources Organizational Management with a minor in Project Development and Psychology. Wow what a mouth full. School cuts into my reading time (I'm such a nerd) but it's what I need to get done.

Along with the obvious stated above I also have to visit my parents in Vegas. They want me to move up there right away, I'm just not sure if I really want to go at this moment. When I'm done with school definitely. I can't wait. I'll love it I'm sure, but I may end up moving earlier. But a visit is needed, they've been gone for almost 2 months (with the exception of 2 days to pack their stuff) and I miss them.

My thoughts and prayers are with my best friend who's father is dying of cancer. He's in surgery now to remove two tumors in his body. One on his liver that has a artery wrapped around it and other on his stomach. My heart bleeds. She didn't want me at the hospital but I know if anything happens there's only 5 hours separating us, and I don't need sleep. I pray that he will be fine.

September is almost upon us and with that I will blow up this blog with NDK pictures. I can't wait to go. I was hoping Tomo would preform again (he's so sweet) but I don't think that it's going to happen. I would have loved to meet Satsuki as well. But I'm sure between panels and other stuff my weekend will be full.

Well that's all for now. Remember Find a way or make one life is too short, but always greet it with a smile. ^^ ♥